Why I DON’T Want My Pre-Baby Body Back

We come in all shapes and sizes. If we would listen to the media, we, as women, are “supposed” to look like some impossible, unattainable standard of beauty – tiny waist, generous hips and chest, long neck, big eyes, and perfect skin.

The funny thing is, even the models don’t look like that. It’s some level of fantasy only achievable via airbrush. Talk about a reality check. And it leaves most of us feeling constantly inadequate.

We look in the mirror, and want to change this, that, or the other thing. So rarely do we appreciate the wonderful parts of our bodies and their amazing capacities.

Through my pregnancy in 2014 with my son, I got to be intimately aware of the miracles a woman’s body can perform. Giving life! What is more powerful or miraculous than that?

But of course, after the baby is born, there’s the rush to lose baby weight. For some, this can feel nearly impossible. But nursing can make it significantly easier – 2 people consuming your caloric intake! (Not to mention all the other great benefits!)

When I was losing weight post-baby, at first the weight loss came on fast. Let’s be honest, I loved it. As a woman who teaches weight loss, I need to not only walk my talk, but also look the part.

But before too long, I hit a roadblock. I couldn’t lose more weight. I was stuck at 10 pounds over my pre-baby weight.

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I knew what I would advise a client when they came to a plateau such as that – if you’re already eating healthy, it’s time to detox. But since I was nursing my baby, that wasn’t an option for me. The toxins released in a detox would contaminate my breastmilk. Definitely NOT an option.

So instead, I continuted focusing on the right foods and the right portions.

Over time, bit by bit, my weight came down.

But a funny thing happened when it did. As soon as I lost the next 5 pounds – only 5 pounds over my pre baby weight – I was constantly starving.

I’d wake up famished. At meals, I couldn’t eat enough. I’d be hungry again, an hour later. I was insatiable.

And I couldn’t figure out why.

Needless to say, I started eating more, and gained back a few pounds.

And then my body was fine again. No more crazy hunger. It was happy.

And I was left wondering – what? Huh?

The new point I was at, 7 pounds over my pre baby weight, seemed to be a good place for my body.

But my mind wouldn’t be quiet about it. I looked in the mirror, and that little voice started pointing out the places that would look so much better if I could lose a little more, and get back down to my pre baby weight.

So I tried again, with the same result: When I got within 5 pounds of my pre baby weight, I was insatiable once again.

Eating more brought me back up a few pounds, and I felt much better.

So – what was happening?

 

My body was trying desperately to give me a message. And I wasn’t listening.

When a woman nurses a baby, her body naturally stores up some extra calories. It’s part of the process.

And my body, still nourishing my little guy, needed that extra storage. I think of it like a buffer zone – some stores of calories to draw on to produce milk, in case I wouldn’t be getting enough calories myself.

 

I had allowed myself to be consumed by the pressures of society, and the pressures in my own head, to look a certain way. In the process, I had started ignoring my body to satisfy my vanity.

That’s no way to live. Constantly hungry? With a side of grumpiness? No, thanks!

Now that I’ve heard my body’s wisdom, I’m really paying attention:

My body needs the extra weight. It’s my body’s way of keeping both myself and my baby healthy.

And what’s better than that?

It had been trying to give me the message all along, and I was too busy listening to my vanity to pay attention.

Now, I’m happy at this weight. I’m celebrating it. And once I complete nursing, I’ll have a new “set point” for my body. But not before then.

I don’t want my pre-baby body back right now. My body’s wisdom knows what’s best, and I’m grateful to it.

So I’ve packed up the clothes that I plan to wear again “someday” – I’m perfectly satisfied without them, and I’ll see them again when I’m ready for them, when my body is fully my own again.

I’m too busy appreciating my body and its wisdom today, extra pounds and all!

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3 Comments

  1. Ooo I love this! Coming to terms with my “I’ve had two babies” body, and really working on loving myself and being confident in my body, this is great. We deserve to love ourselves, not beat ourselves up daily because we don’t like like xyz. I don’t want to waste my life away wishing to look like someone I’m not. I want to love my body and life life focused on what really matters. ❤

  2. This is beautiful. Looking back, I’m not sure how well I really listened while nursing my babies. The voice of vanity was loud. What if we did listen? A good reminder to listen now; thank you!

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